#42 Hell inside my head

Don't tell me it is nothing 

For I know better 

I am going through it

My demons are mine

I'll tackle them in my own time 

You don't need to worry 

Stay put, keep distance 

I have history of hurting friends 

I need space to sort 

The hell is in my head

Devil lives within

Hush! He hates noise

Let him devour my soul 

Tear me apart in pieces 

I'll be back soon 

But first I need to die

Succumb to my pain 

Bleed under his torment 

And when his anger subsides

I'll be reborn, from my own ashes

Ready for another hell

Another devil, another torture

But stronger than before...

Bindnee - By Deepika Saini

This is my first time reviewing an e-commerce website. But the mere concept behind this startup, a home-grown jewel by two of my friends Deepika and Rajesh, calls for a dedicated appreciation post. So here it goes..

With ever-growing aspects of e-commerce, we see various.. frankly quite many websites selling clothes that appease your eyes, but have you yet came across one that appeases your thoughts as well?

Bindnee - as the brand name goes, is dedicated to the married woman of Indian society also called Patni / Bahu / Lugaai in various cultures. The founder, Deepika Saini, has used the very word which society uses to bind a woman in a certain role, to break free of those norms. This Bindnee is here to turn the tables. The founder herself is a fashion designer and curates her own designs through Bindnee. The brand aims to rebuild the image of an Indian daughter in law, who is tired of being in the veil. Personally, the whole concept behind the branding and designs is inspiring enough for women like myself. 

Also, If you go through their brand's bio, this brand is not only here to raise the bar for women in terms of freedom to dress but also have thoughts about the environment and sustainability in their agenda. They aim to use sustainable, organic materials without all the toxic chemicals that go into the making of fabrics in the fast-fashion industry. It's highly commendable for an individual to put the environment before their profits.

Coming on to the merchandise, they have a varied variety of Tops, dresses, Kurtas, Bottoms, dupattas, Sarees, Juttis and Jewellery. My personal favourite is their range of Handcrafted Jewellery from Chhatisgarh. The intricate design on the handmade ornaments together with the colourful threads is something I haven't seen anywhere else. I am attaching a screenshot here for the reference of what i am fawning over...

 

All in all, ‘Bindnee’ is a really great effort to break the shackles and to bring about a positive change in society through freedom of expression, women empowerment and sustainable fashion. In a society where the life of a married woman is shackled by unwritten guidelines, seeing someone dare to dream is like seeing candlelight in the pitch-black darkness. 

I wish the dreamer, Deepika Saini, congratulations on being able to materialize her dreams through hard work and enthusiastic diligence. I am quite sure that the world will be able to see the awesomeness behind the concept and the brand will touch the hearts of millions in no time. I wish you all the best for this great business venture. One thing I can say is, Bindnee is here to stay. Kudos!

Book review: The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

"The Kite Runner" by Khaled Hosseini is an incredible book. From the first page, I was hooked. This story made me weep, cry, and feel deeply for the characters. The writing is beautiful and paints a clear picture of Afghanistan. The characters feel real, with their own flaws and strengths. Amir's journey and the themes of friendship, betrayal, and forgiveness really moved me.

One quote that particularly resonated with me from the book is, “I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded, not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night.” This quote encapsulates the complexity of forgiveness and the gradual process of letting go of pain and resentment.

Hosseini's storytelling is powerful, drawing readers into the lives of the characters and their struggles, making each emotion and revelation feel raw and authentic. The themes explored in the book, including friendship, betrayal, and the search for redemption, are universal and relatable.

There's no need to say this, but it is a deeply moving and thought-provoking read that stays with you long after you've turned the last page. It's a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the possibility of finding peace and redemption amidst life's challenges.

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#37 Warrior Princess

She isn't a princess waiting to be rescued
She is queen who can carry her crown
And your hasty judgements
With equal grace...

Neither sugar and spice
Nor everything nice
She's got fire and fury
Little sparkle and many lilies
In equal measure...

She can't be tamed
Caged or confined
She got her wings
For she's born to fly...


A/N:
Muse for the verse - Simi Sathyan. A friend. A survivor. A fighter.

To a certain Anonymous sender of books.

I have been away from here. And been very much uninterested in carrying on the habit of pouring out things going inside my head, in words.
But recently I went back and read a few things on my blog and most importantly the comments. Some comments that I read for the first time in 2 years.

First of all, for the back story, in 2015 I used to receive some books by an anonymous sender at my home, from Amazon. It was confusing.

Since sometimes authors on Goodreads keep sending ARC books for review to bloggers, I initially thought they were a part of that giveaway. But later, when I confirmed it on Goodreads, they weren't from them.
I even contacted Amazon to know about the sender's details, but it too was a dead end.
And after 2-3 of them, books stopped coming. And, so I stopped thinking about it too.

And today after 2 years. I read these comments on two old-forgotten posts of mine.

First comment was on the post The Silent Killer and the second one on A book review.


I have never done this before but I am guilty of being utterly curious here. So, If the person who posted these comments and/or sent me those books is reading this. Please let me know.

My personal email ID is deepika.vasudeva@gmail.com
Or you can ping me on my phone. You already have my phone number (I know, since I used to receive text messages from amazon before every delivery)

It's been 2 years. I would understand if you wouldn't want me to know your identity now. But I plead you to. Closures are important. I don't want to die in suspense. Please :)


Quite-late-but-nevertheless-finally-here.
Deepika

P.S.- Those books are nice. Thank you. 

#36 Beautiful Imperfections

Perfection doesn't attract me...

Scars, Broken pottery 

Dimmer star next to the brightest one in sky

Clumsiness, broken stones
Asymmetrical shells... 

There's an untold story everywhere 

I am attracted to the untold, unknown. 

Book review: As You Desire by Connie Brockway

As You Desire by Connie Brockway
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This book has stayed with me for many many years.
The descriptions of Egypt, heliographs and everything have always been ingrained in my mind since I read this book a decade ago.
Harry and Dizzy have stayed with me for a long time. I might re-read this someday again. and write another review. For now, it stays in my head.

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#35 Falling out of love

Falling out of love

It's wonderful.

Much like falling in love.

But with yourself.

#34 Fool me twice

Oh so here, it starts again

with you dancing back in my life

Why can't you give it up! Stupid stubborn stain

so it's the same cycle on the roll..

It's been 2 years and a month

Having been through heartbreak,

self hatred, destruction and redemption

I am sorry if I can't do it again..

I stand by what they say 

"Fool me once shame on you

Fool me twice shame on me"

So honey, I am drained and can't do it again..

I am done feeling and dealing

with you and your mood-swings

Now that you are past my tolerance limit

It's time for you to go baby :)


This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Happy birthday to the real Weird Wordsmith ;)

I think, in your entire life..
If you have impacted another's life - you have achieved something.
If you have saved one soul from self-destruction - you have succeeded.
If you have touched one heart - you have truly lived.

You have been all three of those people in my life. It is least to say I’ll never forget you.
Our paths may diverge...
Our conversations may stop...
One day you might as well forget my name...

But for me you'll always be the special friend.
A systematically weird, wisely stupid, insanely intelligent and perfectly imperfect friend. :)

I like you in spite of all your activate-deactivate wali harkatein, rude- polite wale mood swings, friends-strangers wale bizarre days, silent and bak-bak wale alternate attitudes … I like you with all your imperfections… because in the long run, as they say, what matters is not what you say or do (in your case - what you don't say) but how you made someone feel.

And I... feel peaceful whenever we talk. You bring the absolute calmness in a life full of panic, deadlines and pressure. A ray of sunshine.

They say, people come in your life as phases or friends... I might have been a phase that passed but you will be here in my heart as true friend... always.

Happy birthday ❤️

Book review: The Chocolate Thief by Laura Florand

The Chocolate Thief by Laura Florand
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

"The Chocolate Thief" by Laura Florand is a contemporary romance that received a four-star rating from me. While it didn't leave a lasting impression like some other books, it still had its moments of warmth and sensuality that made it an enjoyable read.

The standout feature for me was the warm sensuality portrayed in the book, particularly in the steamy scene on the staircase. Laura Florand's writing brought out the passion and intensity between the characters, creating a memorable moment that stayed with me.

The story sets the stage in Paris, a city known for its beauty and romance. The clash between American Cade Corey and French chocolatier Sylvain Marquis adds an interesting dynamic, especially as they navigate the world of chocolate and desire.

While there were no specific memorable aspects beyond the sensuality, "The Chocolate Thief" still offers a delightful escape into the world of Parisian charm, delectable chocolates, and budding romance. It may not be a standout among contemporary romances, but it has enough warmth and allure to captivate readers looking for a sweet and steamy love story.

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