Words do matter.

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent
about things that matter~ martin luther king
Words heal..
Words reassure..
Words express...

#11 The 'touch' it was


Though ‘twas smooth,
Yet sparks flew.
Soft and gentle,
Yet passion intact.

Calmness of sea,
Warmth of the sun.

Silence spoke volumes,
Yet no songs heard.
Budding new feelings,
Deep seated emotions.

The touch 'twas
something new, something rare..




Image courtesy: Google

#10 Uncertainty


Unsaid words, unexpressed emotions
There’s this pinch of pain even in bliss
Uncertainty of future, fear of losing
Imperfections of life, awful and amusing...


Maybe... The Solitary Truth.




A/N- 1- As many of people have been asking me if the previous stories have been my real story then it’s to confirm that-NO, they aren’t! They are pure fiction except few references.
Life isn't a fairytale to be so magical and free of all problems. And for this following one, well, this is a real story, purely based on real incidents and characters.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maybe…


Friary, 8 may, 2009                   

“You’re trembling” Vandana held my hand as I reached to apply mascara on her eye-lashes.

“I know” duh! Like I won’t know that I am trembling.

“That you are. I am asking why?”

“Uh… maybe I am bit tensed about tonight.” I answered lost. Point to be noted- when you have something up your nerve you ought to get irritated easily than ever before, even on some meager questions like this! “Vandana! It’s your marriage in case you have forgotten!” I yelled out of frustration. God! How am I going to keep my calm tonight?

“Yes! I remember. That’s what I am asking. It’s MY marriage. Why are you this nervous? See you have even started sweating!” she said touching my temples. I was indeed sweating, even in air conditioned room.

“Uh... Umm... I know it’s your marriage but … hey! I am maid of honor. Don’t I have enough rights to get nervous?”  Second point to be noted- in nervousness, you sometime don’t even make sense!
She looked at me with the look that of Sherlock Holmes. Mind you, she seemed too chilled out to be called the bride tonight. Aren’t brides meant to get clumsy, excited on their wedding? Well, she is a weirdo then!

“It’s about Mayank right?” she popped up. Didn’t I just say something like Sherlock Holmes? Even better, she works without the 3x zoom magnifying glass!

I met her eyes for micro-seconds before I got back to mascara application. “No” Look somewhere else. Look somewhere else. She is expert in reading eyes! “It isn’t” god! What do I do? HELP!

She silently nodded and turned towards the mirror again. “He is coming on wedding tonight”

No he isn’t! He has his major exams going on. How I wish it was true. He isn’t coming. Sob Sob! All these 4 months since this wedding was announced; I was waiting like a love sick puppy to meet him after 5 months and 10 days- 192 days exact since 29 October, 2008. This is could have been our 3rd official meeting, but I guess the power above those clouds isn’t willing yet to end my wait. Why me? Why me?

“I heard his mom mentioning this to yours. She was saying that today is his last major and he’ll reach the venue during reception.”  She said while maneuvering her dangler earrings through the tiny hole in her earlobes. Ok! That’s it.

“You must have heard it wrong! He isn’t coming! Ok? HE IS NOT!” I yelled again. “After all the things I did preparing for this day of your marriage wishing that maybe… maybe I’ll get to see him again after 6 dreading months, all I get to know is that NO! He has his majors going on and so is unable to grace this marriage with his holy presence.” Huh! I didn’t want to yell on her today, but she really tests my patience sometime. Why does she always have to poke on my paining nerve?

She looked at me unperturbed as if I just yelled on walls not her. “Are you done with your rambling?” She flashed her usual smirk. Suspicion alert! I narrowed my eyes on her. There’s definitely something up her sleeve!

“Is there something that I SHOULD know but don’t?”

“A lot more than you can imagine” with this she got up and went into the washroom attached to the vanity room of the bride.

Hallelujah! Hadn’t she been my sister she might have died on her wedding day, right here, right now!

I cursed her. I cursed my fate. I cursed every single thing that right now was raising my irritation; from my 100 yards spread black gown to my 3 inches heels, from the dull brown curtains to the closed door of washroom where Vandana had locked herself from past… 1 minute. What did she meant? What do I don’t know?

*knock*

Someone’s at the door of bride’s room, but I am not going to answer. I have much many important things to think right now!

“NUPUR!”  Ahh… my ever annoying brother Gaurav! “OPEN THE DOOR”

Stomping my 3 inched heels with every step I reached the door. “WHAT?” he raised his brows giving the same expression that of Vandana which further implies that of Sherlock Holmes… mind you, again without that 3x zoom magnifying glass! Genetic disorder!

“I have got news… but your face tells another story. What happened?” sometimes he is just so caring. Maybe that’s the reason I had told him everything about Mayank, though there’s nothing much to it.

“Nothing. Had some usual argument with Vandana”

“Oh! Ok” he nodded knowingly, it was so usual of me to get in argument with Vandana, regards to her ever irritating behavior. “Well, I came to tell you something…” he surely has no idea what I want to hear at the moment. No, wait, he DOES have idea but obviously no one can do anything to make me feel better other than the person himself! “Uh! Umm… he is outside” he said slowly, his eyes flashed calculation and mischief.

“Who ‘he’?” Of course it won’t be the one I want him to be. Alas!

“The one for whom you have coaxed me several times into making a fool of myself calling him or texting him uselessly” he smirked, just the way Vandana did. Family copyrighted trait I guess.

“You are kidding right? He couldn’t be here. I told you I had texted him in noon to wish good luck for exam and he had replied with a thank you too, and FYI just in case you forgot he lives 5 hours far and that implies he CAN’T come tonight. Why can’t both of you get the fact straight in one go?”

“Stop chanting the same monologue again and go outside and confirm yourself!” this came from Vandana, who somewhere between my and Gaurav's chat, had finally came out of washroom.

“How come you are so sure about it? Wait… did any of you talked to him out of my knowledge?” they both looked at each other and shared a Hi5. The suspicion hormone started secretion at the rate directly proportional to the mischief on their faces increased. Pushing Gaurav aside I moved out of the vanity room. Picking up the flares of my so fluffy gown I marched towards the royal lawn where ceremony was to take place. Actually it wasn’t just a vanity room but a whole cottage kind of structure where we had a little alley connecting lawn to the cottage. The entry of the lawn was visible from the alley itself and the whole lawn becomes visible by walking few steps more.

I was in the alley only when Gaurav came from behind and fell in steps with me.

“If it came out as a joke I swear I’ll kill you right… OMG!”  Standing at a distance of 15 feet in front of me in the pitch black shirt and trousers stood the Greek-god himself. I froze in my steps. This can’t be true! He wasn’t coming. How can… he couldn’t!

He had his back towards me as he talked to Samrat and Arpit. Its must have been eternity that I kept staring at his back until Gaurav pushed me behind a pillar. I almost stumbled down with the force applied by him; for the records the force gave some torque to the center of mass of my body cause pillar just saved me from toppling down like a chopped tree.

“What the hell!!!”

“I am not asking you to stop throwing these longing stares at his back. For god sake! He is still unaware of the feelings you have developed for him!”  I lowered my eyes embarrassed. He is right. Mayank doesn’t even have a clue that someone is pinning for him so badly. “Samrat noticed you standing there and staring at Mayank like that so… You may continue from here now” he winked and left from there leaving me alone behind that pillar. However annoying and irritating Gaurav maybe but he still is the best brother in the world!

I looked back at the place where trio stood, laughing and talking animatedly with his hands moving in air as he spoke was intriguing the most. Many of our knowns said he doesn’t talks much; he’s quiet and reserved, maybe shy too. But the last meeting at his home, 6 months back had clarified many of those rumors.

Standing behind pillar and spying might sound stupid but that was one moment I never can forget. 6 long months come in account to reach that single moment. I wouldn’t even mind if somehow god decides to freeze the world at the moment. This way the smile on his face will stay forever and so will he stay in my sight.

‘I don’t need a constant reassurance for you to be mine,
I don’t need another life of little more time,
All I need is you to stay at a distance…
For I can see you, admire you, making memories of the stance…’

“Love the one who’ll love you” Gaurav muttered under his breath.  The return of the devil-part II.

“And who asked for the ‘unwanted’ expert advice?”

“Miss. I-love-him-unconditionally, Vandana is calling you inside… Else I wouldn’t have bothered disturbing your private moment” he chuckled while rolling eyes at me-typical sarcastic Gaurav Vasudeva.

“I saw that” pushing him aside yet again and picking up those damned heavy flares… whoof! Yet again, I dragged myself inside.

“Are you ready?” I asked barging inside the room. Instead of an anxious and hyperventilating bride, Vandana was lying leisurely on the sofa sipping her orange juice.

“So you met him finally?” she raised her eye brows popping a French fries stick inside her mouth, I answered by shaking my head. ‘Please let me go outside and resume my admiring session?’ “Whom am I kidding with? You came back on your own feet is itself a conquest after having seen your his–royal-highness!” yeah! Yeah! I agree.

“Get ready guys. You have to be out in 15 minutes. It’s time for the arrival of the bride” Shilpa aunty announced rushing into the vanity room. “Oh god! Look at your posture! Get up right now” I giggled while Vandana cursed under her breath before getting up and arranging her wedding gown. I helped her giving the final touches to her make up and pinning some wild layers of the gown. Must say, she looked like a princess in this pearl shade gown, on the most beautiful day of one’s life. The happiness only increased with addition of the fact that she was marrying Sachin jeej, the love of her life, after 3 years of courtship. I was happy for her; at least she could get to spend her life with her love… at least!

After breathing deeply thrice, I stepped out with bouquet of flowers in my hand after Vandana. GOD! Why do I have to be in the lime light tonight? Couldn’t this be someday else…

From the moment we stepped in alley to the hour long ceremony including the marriage registrar's signing formality I had to accompany Vandana being the maid of honor. Whole the time only thing that was crossing my mind was- HIM!

What if he recognized me? What if he is just around the main stage and will pop up any second in my sight? How will I save my heart from the 'potential' heart attack? God!! Is there still someone above out there? I seriously need a 'divine intervention' right now!

Somehow I DID survive the ceremony and now I was free as the bride and groom were seated for reception. I started towards the vanity room, trying to sneak out of the nervous atmosphere only to be stopped by Shilpa aunty. My dearest fate!

"Hey! Where are you heading to? Come here and help me in entertaining guests. Come!" she held my arm and dragged me towards the crowd again. Divine intervention please!

She took me to a group of 5-6 ladies which included my mom, Vandana’s mom and Mayank’s mom too. 
I could see that I was standing there for mere sake of presence; neither was I needed nor I wanted to be. I moved some steps back trying to test my chance to sneak away again without getting noticed. And I almost succeeded too until I turned around only to bang into someone. A specifically head-on collision where addition of initial momentum of bodies is equal to the final momentum of the combined mass. Chuck it! The point of question was whom I banged in?


Here comes the much awaited ‘divine intervention’. It's HIM!
I stared right in his eyes still not able to comprehend the turn of events. One moment I am relieved that I won't have to face him and next moment I am standing here staring into his eyes, 'Staring' being the keyword.


"Sorry-" he said before bending down. What was he doing? Maybe a new style of saying sorry by touching the goddess earth! Reference to the second point- in nervousness- we don't make sense! And right now I had all the rights to be dead clumsy.

He stood back picking up his phone from the floor which must have fell down when we both collided. Point to be noted- this WASN'T typical collision that of bollywood movies where heroine is about to fall after the collision and hero just saves her by holding her waist using all his super human reflexes.

"Oh! Did you guys meet yet? I was going to ask you to talk to her and give her some tips regarding the competition exam you cleared last year" My mom exclaimed from somewhere behind me. Yupp sure! I need those 'tips' more badly than the wish to get away from here right now.

"Hi. How are you?" he asked. I smiled genuinely for the first time since the ceremony began; after all not only he recognized me but he just spoke to me too! ^_^

 "I am fine. How was your exam?"


He sighed "let’s just say I am happy that they ended finally…" I smiled at that, not on the fact that we were finally face to face but that I am yet not feeling any blockage in my breathing system or any blood vessels, which implies- No heart attack yet!

The conversation that started near the ladies crowd ended up on a huge round table with two of us sitting adjacent to each other, leaving space for two baby elephants between our seats.
The conversation went on to my coaching’s to his collage, from my books to his professors, from me loving dance and him hating the idea of behaving like monkeys, from me trembling yet again and him asking why, from me showing the best of my clumsiness attacks and him being the calmest soul on earth.

Just to be brief, the conversation might have been filler if there had been someone else on his place but only the mere presence of his name in a sentence makes my heart jump out of my body. A simple ‘hi’ and ‘hello’ from him makes my day worth mentioning in my diary of memorable days. That’s his effect on me. 

After that SHORT talk, I was called for some to-hell-with maid of honor duties. And when I was finally allowed to go, all I came to see was him and his family waving goodbyes to Vandana's parents at the exit and before I knew they were no where to be seen.

This is how a much-awaited-day of my life, which still qualified to be noted in my diary, ended; which as usual left me wanting for more of his sight.


 ‘I choose to love you in Silence…
For in silence I receive no rejection

I choose to love you in Loneliness…
For in loneliness no one owns you but I.

I choose to love you from a Distance…
For distance will shield us from pain.

I chose to imprison you in my thoughts…
cause in my thoughts, freedom is for me to decide.

I choose to hold you in my Dreams…
For in my dreams, you have no end.

That is what you are to me.
In all honesty, I find it hard to believe, 

that I will ever love somebody, 
the same way I loved you.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



DISCLAIMER- I take no credit for the lines in purple… they are not my creation. No offence intended to the original writer.
A/N- 2- As I had said in the start, this is a real story, thus for a change – NOT a fairytale. Story after this is insignificant till now, as the characters never had a confession or confrontation on the issue. I’ll definitely write the next part when something, if ever, happens in future to the real characters.

It happened... and I am glad it did


A/N- This one fiction is pretty long to be called short story. I would recommend if you get a coffee mug and then sit to read, so that when you feel sleepy you can sip it along. Caffeine doesn’t lets you sleep no matter how boring the read be. ^_*
And further I would suggest readers to abide by the age discretion of 16+.






Glancing one last time in the mirror of my scooter, I headed upstairs to his apartment. Actually his apartment became 'his' this morning only. To be precise, he has just shifted to city again this morning only, that too after spending 3 years miles away in Bangalore.

Wait! Did I even tell you whom am I rambling about since the whole time? Oh! Introducing Mayank, my best friend, my worst friend and secret holder and blah blah blah! We had been together since the class 7th but then his father got transferred to Bangalore after our 12th grade. Until 12th we were just good friends like we all have some, its after 12th when he moved away and we started talking regularly on phones, through facebook or mails.


We became best of friends. By the way, it's scientifically proved that women are more extroverts in virtual world, maybe that's the reason I was able to open up more on this long distance relationship.

Ok, now I stand on the threshold of his apartment after knocking for the third time, waiting for him to open the door. Man! He is so lazy, no doubts. But I guess it wasn't his mistake when I decided to drop at his doorstep when I know he'll be busy unpacking and setting up his place. Just when I was about to knock again he opened the door, with his one and only trade-mark frown on 22-year-old-grumpy face of his.

"Wonder when I'll be invited with a smile instead of this" I said easing the frown lines on his forehead. 

He chuckled and pulled me into the world's warmest hug. "That's because I wasn't expecting anyone yet, but then you always have all the rights to be the exception."

"I missed you"

"Really? Sorry but feelings aren't mutual then because I had the best of my time in Bangalore without you hanging around my neck all the time" I hit him on his shoulder and pulled back from hug.

"When do I keep hanging on your neck?" I pushed him aside and walked past him into his 1 bedroom apartment, where all his stuff was still lay packed in brown boxes except few clothes that lie down here and there and some furniture like bed, couch, study and dressing. "Not bad. It's quite spacious. But just like you- very dull and lifeless type" I said checking out his place while he stood there near the door smiling at me.

"I still don't believe you are actually here in front of me after 3 years." he said somehow dreamily and I liked it too. "I had given up on hopes to ever see you again in near future... But then this is destiny"

I ran up to him and hugged him again, this time tighter than earlier. "I missed you too" he said in same dreamy voice I wonder if he has habit of talking in sleeps because he isn't this sweet always.

I broke the hug and started pacing the room helping him unpack and make the room look like actual room from a mess, as it was when I came. While emptying the box with his clothes I noticed most his clothes to be blue. I knew it was his favorite color but I didn't know he was so fond of it. After about 2-3 hours of cleaning, unpacking, setting, fighting, annoying and leg pulling we were done. The next glance around was a room with a bed in center, dressing and 
study at left and a small balcony at right. It was a tough task but then every nice thing takes something to happen at first!

I prepared coffee for us and he did the other setting in the small kitchen along with talking and remembering the older times together.

We went to balcony to have coffee in some peace standing by the railing, watching the kids play in the opposite park.

"So how did you manage to sneak out from your home for this long?" he asked as he went inside to place his cup after finishing off his coffee.

I giggled remembering what I did to reach here "I asked Ruchi to call me at my home and ask my mom for permission to come to her house for 5-6 hours. She told my mom she has to discuss some concepts regarding 'the induction motor' working." I chuckled "Like I know how it actually works."

"Oh so you fooled aunty again! You won't ever give up your tactics, will you?" he said while he stood next to me in balcony fixing the branches of his favorite touch-me-not plant.

"Well, I can't until they themselves allow me to go wherever I want. They have no problems with the fact that you are my best friend but they still don't allow me to go and meet you. That's called double standards. Or maybe they don't trust me enough" I said while placing my cup aside on the table in balcony.

"Or maybe they don't trust me with you" he winked.

"You pathetic jerk" with this he received a blow on the back of his head, while we had the laugh of our life times.

The next half hour was passed in absolute silence while both the souls were busy watching the hustle-bustle in the opposite park where a pair of lovers was busy arguing, maybe on some good for nothing issue, but still that scene was quite intriguing. It was when I actually realized that beauty of love relationship is in these small fights when we can openly accuse our partner even if there's no fault of them. This is such an interesting fact. 

Smiling wholeheartedly after a brief conversation with my heart I glanced sideways at my companion for the moment. He too was smiling maybe thinking about the same thing. After all we are best friends, frequency of our thinking matches too. 
"Cute! Isn't it?"

He turned his gaze towards me still smiling the same way. "It surely is. Very cute." He pinched my cheek and added "just like you"

"Am I a teddy... teddies are cute?" I pouted while he grinned.

"Yes you are. My sweet little cutie pie teddy, with cuppy cake cheeks" he bent down and pecked my cheek. 

I forced a smile until he disappeared in room to fix some work. I once again turned my attention towards the arguing couple; but this time I wasn't aware of what they were doing as all my brain machinery was coagulated with thoughts of my own apprehensions, my apprehensions towards a man's touch. 

I would never mind hugging or even cuddling with my bestie but it was the first time he ever kissed me and somehow, unknowingly I did felt some tingling sensation with that temperate touch.

It doesn't mean I haven't ever been touched by anyone ever. I did have a boyfriend, back in 9th class, Nisheet. Initially he was a good friend of Mayank as well as me but after a small courtship of 4 months and 27 days we moved apart because his family decided to shift to another state and he possibly didn't believe in long-distance relationship, unlike me.

In whole of this almost 5 months of relation all we shared that could be categorized as physical touch was occasionally holding hands, twice a kiss on hand and once a kiss on cheek-that too when we met for the last time. I know I m not supposed to memorize things like that but I can't help, I always had issues regarding a man's touch. I just go numb whenever it's something like an intimate touch but with Mayank, somehow it WASN'T the numbness but something else, something new. Okay, I know I shouldn't feel like this about my best friend, I shouldn't mutilate the beauty of this exquisite relation with my confused feelings and damned 'tingling sensation'.

"I guess they have sorted out their differences by now" his voice snapped me out my reverie of deep thoughts. I traced the direction of his sight and caught the initially 'arguing couple' kissing shamelessly sitting in a seclude corner of the park. "And you were probably enjoying the free show. Eh?" he nudged me teasingly.

While I was floating deep inside my inner issues, I had been caught shamelessly gawking at an equally shameless kissing couple.

I turned around hastily, finding excuses to justify my mistake. "I-I wasn't looking at them. I was just’ just'" I stammered while my cheeks felt hot due to blood rushing in them. God! This is so embarrassing.

"Ahh' you want me to believe that you were busy doing something else when you had censured scenes playing LIVE in front of you?" he raised his eye brows mischievously making me blush even harder. "Don't be embarrassed sweetheart, if we can watch them fight then we deserve all the rights to see them patching up too" his giggles sounded so teasing.

"Shut up you' I wasn't looking at them" I said all irritated by his continuous teasing eyes.

"And you think I'll believe?" he can be so annoying at times.

"Argh' I hate you! I hate you so much" I raised my fist to punch his chest but to my hard luck he caught my wrist in time.

"Awww' feeling is mutual sweetheart" he grinned and placed a quick kiss on my other cheek.

All my anger vanished at once as my apprehensions and insecurities came rushing again. This time yet again instead of numbness I felt different. Somewhat like butterflies in stomach, that fluttered every time he did this, twice so far. I felt color creeping over my neck towards my cheeks' yet again.

I looked up in his eyes but I couldn't see any of what I was feeling right now. He was still looking at me unperturbed by the turmoil I was feeling right now. Is it possible he felt nothing different about this gesture?

Watching him flash his genuine smile, I was reassured that there wasn't any need to worry. Suddenly everything seemed to fall in place, like a magic, it felt so natural and certain, like it was bound to happen at some point of time. It didn't felt as odd or inappropriate, just a bliss.

"Come on lets eat something, I am starving after moving so much of stuff. I don't know how mom manages all this!" he dragged me along with him towards the couch. There lay 2 bowls with steaming maggi in them.

"Wow! When did you cook this?" I rambled taking one bowl in my hands and sitting comfortably on couch with my legs pulled up.

"Well, when you were busy peeping into someone's private moments!" didn't I said he is super annoying at times.

"I. Was. Not" I said from clenched teeth.

"Don't tell me you missed out on such a golden opportunity!"

"Shut up! Will you? Let me enjoy my maggi in peace" and finally someone actually kept his mouth shut while I had my gala time with my mouth watering MAGGI! Yummy!

I was done polishing my bowl in 2 minutes. I don't care if maggi can be cooked in 2 minutes, as they claim in advertisement, or not; but I can always finish it off in 2 minutes or even less!

I placed my bowl back and looked at him who was unusually staring at me with lost expression. I hope he isn't sleeping with open eyes. I know my friend was a weirdo but if it's true it's going to be the limit! "What?" no response. I bet he is sleeping. I clicked my fingers in front of his eyes. God! He is smiling now. Crazy! "What are you looking at so intently?"

He took a deep breath, as if deciding something and then nodded. "Come here, I have to tell you something" I obediently obliged and sat next to him waiting for him to tell me 'something'. He placed his arm around me and leaned back on couch. The way he was taking time was frustrating and getting me more curious about that 'something'. "Okay, listen. First you have to promise that you won't ask any questions until I complete, I know it's quite difficult for a chatter box like you to stay quiet, but you can always try." He winked at me just to get a slap on his arm. "Ok sorry, serious now." I nodded in affirmation telling him to start.

"You remember the day back in 9th when you had told me that you and Nisheet were together now?" I nodded again, although I just remembered the bits of that day. "That day was a big milestone in my life and that all because of you." I raised my eye brows in confusion but he hushed me even before I could open my mouth to question. "No questions please. I am explaining. Since a long a time before that day I was going through a great confusion, a confusion regarding my feelings for you. Firstly I discarded it as attraction but then over the time instead of vanishing they grew; I started feeling strongly for you. It was definitely not just attraction, something else, something strong. After long discussions with my inner self I reached the conclusion of confessing it you, whatever it was. I was ready to face with honesty but then again I was worried about our friendship. What if you don't approve of my feeling? What if you walk away forever? Keeping all the doubts aside I finally gathered courage to tell u that I was falling for you, I was clueless of what was going on between you and Nisheet. That day, when you told me about you both being together, I had decided to confess it all to you the same day. It's fate. Even before I could approach you to tell you about all this I ran in into Nisheet and blurted out all of it in nervousness. If I had a bit clue about you both I would have never done that blunder, again my hard luck." He paused to take a deep breath while I gaped in space trying my best to let the huge amount of information sink in. It was damn difficult.

"After that when I reached unto you, before I could place my heart out you shot the news of you being with Nisheet. I felt nothing, not even pain, not even happiness for you. I was shattered; my first love had gone unreciprocated. That's it. After that I preferred being far from you, tried to indulge myself in studies and move on. I was successful in that too. But when in 10th I got to know that Nisheet has left the school I again felt all the feelings rushing back but yet again I suppressed it knowing you two must be together still, since distances don't affect love, that's what I believed and still do. Maybe it was my insecurities that kept me from coming to you and talk like earlier times." He sighed and continued. "After that I had to move to Bangalore; I used to have an urge to contact you once, that's when I searched you on face-book and luckily had a way out. All that followed is known to you. That's it"

I was too stunned to even react. It felt like whole world came crashing down on me. I continued gaping in space until he broke the silence again. "Are you going to run away or what?"

"I want to' but I am unable to move" I whispered back, that was all I could manage at the moment. How come I never questioned his sudden disappearance from my life? How come I never got to know he felt so strongly about me, maybe strongly then what I ever felt for Nisheet? He slid his arm on my waist and pulled me back towards him. I rested my head on his shoulder and lay back on couch still deep in my thoughts world. "Why did you decide tell me now?" 

"I always wanted to tell you all this because deep in my heart I knew it was unfair on your part to not know about how someone feels for you. I felt like a thief to keep it to me but then I wanted to tell you all this face to face not through an electronic media."

Again maintaining my silence for about 2-3 minutes I asked what had been bothering me since I got to know the whole thing. "You said 'loved', 'felt'' is it all about the past or is there' anything yet?"

He took few seconds to answer "I don't know. After getting you back after so long time I was happy the way it was. I didn't give it thought. I was scared to lose the existing friendship we had. I was again insecure' I don't know." He shrugged and concluded the answer to the question that mattered most to me in confusion. I nodded to acknowledge his answer but turmoil inside only increased. "Forget it now. Let's talk about something else." He rubbed my arm but it wasn't able to soothe my confusion.

"Things could have been so different only if that day I would have let you talk first. Today I really repent on my excessive speaking habit."

"I don't think so. It's not like you would have accepted me the way you accepted Nisheet at that time."

"It is. It wasn't like I had some deep secret crush on him. It all just happened in the sequences of occurrences' a coincidence. All I wanted then was to feel loved cared' desired. I trusted you, why wouldn't I approve of it. I would have, surely and happily"

"I would just say, what ever happens, happens for the good. Maybe it was meant to be this way only"

"Hmmm' maybe" now things seemed much in place and right form. It somehow felt relaxed.

After a long stretched silence he spoke "What would be your answer if I tell you that I still feel the same way about you?" I raised my gaze and met his. Looking deep into his eyes I could feel the depths of honesty, purity and deep seated love. How could I have failed to see all that earlier? I have been such a loser, a big fool. "My feelings for you never changed, I was just afraid to tell you earlier but now I want to know. Will you accept me now the way I am'. And my feelings?" he whispered. All his words felt no less than a caress. 'Yes, I would' I wanted to say but my throat went dry leaving me helpless. I gulped the lump of final confusion and nodded meekly, answering the most important question of my life without any words.

His lips twitched into a small smile that was enough to fill my heart with warmth. For a few seconds we kept gazing into each other's eyes until his face started descending on me. I knew it was the moment; all of a sudden panic struck me. My breathing became uneven knowing what might follow now. I had my eyes shut holding his collar tightly in my fist. My apprehensions were still coming in the way but I knew it was the time to get over them. I felt his lingering breath on my face micro seconds before his lips brushed on mine. Giving me enough time to calm down, he ultimately covered my mouth with his, filling me with warm sensations in my stomach.

His kiss wasn't rushed or passionate or demanding but calm and promising; A promise to be there forever, a perfect way to seal the blissful moment. Freeing his collar from my hand he entwined his fingers with mine. The kiss lasted for about 15-20 seconds, which was enough to get me in daze. I hid my face in the curve of his neck, breathing heavily; then I realized I involuntarily have held my breath all along the beautiful moment. I couldn't look up at him, one, because I was suddenly too shy too face him, two, I knew my face was red by now because of the lack of breathe and shyness; and I certainly not wanted him to see me like this. I just had had the most beautiful moment of my life, my FIRST KISS; I almost felt flying in high raised sky. I parted from him but kept my eyes lowered. How was I supposed to face him after sharing an intimate moment with him just moments ago?

"Do I still need to say the words?" he asked in a mere whisper. To which I could only reply by shaking my head, while my heart was beating with the speed of a jet. "But I want to hear something from you" his grip on my waist tightened some more.

"I' I need to leave"

"Wow! How romantic! 'I need to leave' huh!" I smiled at his annoyed face and pinched his cheek affectionately. He looked so cute pouting.

"I really need to leave now. Mom must have been waiting, it's already 9." I tried to get out of his hold but in vain. He was no where near to be ready to leave me.
"No, you are staying here"

"What? No, I am not"

"Oh yes! You are. Don't you trust me enough or are you having doubts on my intentions?" he asked mischievously. I smacked him on his arm feeling embarrassed on his playful remarks. I knew him well enough to know his intentions; I couldn't ever imagine him disgracing me in any way ever, not even in my worst nightmare.

"I trust you, but how can I stay here? No, I can't"

"You can. Don't you go on sleepovers at your friend's places?"

"I did only once, at Ruchi's place. I am not allowed much"

"Okay. Call up your mom and tell her that you are staying at Ruchi's place tonight. You told her that you are there right now. So just tell her you going to stay."

"No. I won't lie again. And besides I don't have my night wear here. No, no way." I tried again only to try my luck.

"Come on. Please." He pleaded with cutest ever puppy face "please with a cheery on top. I swear I won't do anything and you can wear my t-shirt and pajamas for the night, I won't mind it"

I thought for a while before answering "okay, but what if my mom doesn't even allow me to stay at Ruchi's as per her information." I still tried for the last time.

"Tell Ruchi to ask for permission from your mom too, I am sure she'll agree" I called up Ruchi to do what he suggested and to his wish my mom agreed to let me stay at Ruchi, only if she knew where I was going to stay. Even Ruchi told me to think twice before staying with him, no matter she trusted him too but still she had her doubts, after all she too cared for me, pretty too much. But I cleared her doubts with my reassurance, or at least I tried to. Finally after half and a quarter hour we were done with convincing my mom and Ruchi.

"Finally!" he let out a long sigh slumping on the bed after putting the phone aside.

"Now, what I am supposed to do after all this?"

"What do you want to do?" he winked mischievously. God! He knows well how to embarrass me to peaks.

"Just shut up! Will you? Now give me some t-shirt of yours I want to change" nodding he got up and pulled out a t-shirt and a pajama from his cupboard. I took them from him and went into the bathroom.

After freshening up, when I re-entered the room I found him lying on the edge of bed reading a book, with his head resting on the head board. He looked up from the book, his eyes scanning me from toe to head; his eyes held the same mischief that I knew were used to make me self-conscious. "I must say, you look great in borrowed clothes!" I gave him a deathly stare, which he ignored and continued "come here, I have to show you something" shaking my head I obliged and went up to him.

"What?"

"How rude? Give me your hand. I won't show it until you behave fine with me" sighing I gave in into his childish tactics, but I loved it too, to say honestly. Once holding my hand his simple smile turned into a mysterious smirk and with a one pull by him I was lying flat on him. In another second he rolled on his side pulling me beneath him. I was so shocked on the sudden turn of events and' scared too. 

"What are you doing?"

"What does it looks like?" still smirking he raised his eye brows teasingly. I knew him too well to fall for his tricks. I decided to play along, one, because I trusted him, two, even I wanted to know how it felt to be loved by the person I am used to fight with almost everyday. "I am trying to take advantage of a alone girl whom I have captured in my room for the whole night"

"Really! What if the poor girl shouts?"

"I can take care of that too" 

"Okay and how will you 'take care' of it?"

"Just like this" saying so he pressed his lips on mine not even giving me time to breathe once. My hands gripped his shoulders tightly before moving towards his back, while his hands were busy caressing my waist giving me tickling sensations. He was pulling me in him with all his might. His one hand reached the back of my head pushing it into him, deepening the kiss even more. Unlike our first kiss this one was much much passionate and demanding. I pushed him a little to let him know that I was breathless! Even the most passionate kissers need air and it was my second experience only!

He parted his lips from mine breathing equally heavily as me. "Like'. This'" he said in between his gasps. I pushed on his chest trying to get him off me but he was quite heavy for me to move and besides I wasn't trying much. Finally, he voluntarily rolled off to other side still his breathe coming in loud gasps.

"I guess you were going to take advantage of some opportunity!" this time I thought of getting naughty, because I was well aware of his so-called 'evil intentions'.

"I bless you with my mercy for the night" he said in a boastful voice and then started laughing and I joined him too. We laughed hard on the romantic cum humorous moment we shared. "You sleep on right side and I'll sleep on left" he smiled before spreading the covers on me. "And don't worry, I won't cross my limits" he placed a kiss on my forehead and shifted to his side. I respect him for respecting the beauty for this new found relation. We kept a distance of 2 and half feet between us when we slept, but it wasn't same in the morning when I was awakened by the piercing sun rays through the balcony side.

Waking up with his arms wrapped around my stomach, his chest pressed on my back and his breathe fanning my neck and shoulder was the most eternal thing I ever felt; A perfect start of a perfect day. Just the way it should have been.

He is the most wonderful thing ever happened to me and I am so glad that it happened. For me love couldn't have happened more perfectly. And the best thing is it's just the start to the wonderful phase of life, full of love.

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NOTEI know many of you will think it’s inappropriate to lie to our mothers for any reasons. Believe me, I am too in the same category, I oppose the idea of lying to parents but its a fiction and I am taking some liberties being the author. Hope you understand. I owed this explanation to all of you.


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