Words do matter.

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent
about things that matter~ martin luther king
Words heal..
Words reassure..
Words express...

#17 Neither hatred nor love



If even for a moment, you had
Gazed into my eyes, you could have seen
What it was, what it could have been


Of all the things between us
That were said never
“I am there” stayed awaited forever

Of all the times together we spent
The moment arrived never
When you held me for ever

Of all the moments I spent

Thinking about you
And you were far somewhere
Smiling with someone else

I cringe, cower, repent and hate myself

You misunderstood my wishes
Yet blame it all on me
You backed away when I was down
Yet I feel it was me


If even for a moment, you had
Gazed into my eyes, you could have seen
What it was, what it could have been

All I wanted, wasn’t the walk

With coherent steps, hands in hands
Neither a lifetime of romance
Nor lying in stars or a rain dance

But a promise to never let go
A will to stay evermore
A command to be yours forever
A silent commitment to not give up too soon

Now that it’s over

All we had is now- was
The foot prints you left
Teach me, remind me
Of failure I embody


Now a void has replaced
The innocence you stole






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47 Opinions:

awesome and deep... that's how it is to me... thank you for coming in to my page.. i appreciate your words... your always welcome to comeback anytime... keep up the excellent write in here my friend...

Good day!!!:)

~Kelvin

 

Very deep emotion and too touching. Wonderful writing style :-D

 

I like the P.S. - sounds quite funny, don't know if you meant to sound this way.

I agree with the rest, beautiful, deep and touching.

 

what a poignant piece... lovely!

 

Yes, sad but parts of our lives are. Nicely composed with a repetition of strong sentiment. well done!


http://jessicasjapes.wordpress.com/2011/01/31/first-date/

 

sadness is obvious, yet when one door closes, another one opens.

beautiful poetry.

A++

 

Hi deepika ,nice poem ..beautifully expressed.It happens to many .."the first crush/love "ends up this way..:)hey give a link to promote ,i mean the page where your post lies in indiblogger.
RAJI
WWW.raji1082.blogspot.com

 

"But a promise to never let go
A will to stay evermore
A command to be yours forever
A silent commitment to not give up too soon"

A magical write...fantastic.

 

Indeed neither hatred nor love...Truly said...we need the promises,commitment...but why do we always feel insecure when asked for those??
And we also DESIRE that lovely walks hand in hand...too many expectations, right??? Human emotions! Can't run away from them!
:)

 

Very emotional...beautiful.

 

a beautiful melancholic piece....love's labour lost...a story of unrequited love that lingers long after the moment is gone... ;)

 

well written ... touching!!

u have such a soothin blog! I loved it

 

Hey, Hi
It seems an eternity has passed since i last commented on something that you wrote...when was the last time you posted?? hmmm, anyways coming back to this one...
nice, beautiful...a longing to feel, to be held, to love and loved...nicely portrayed..simple yet expressive...

nice.

Regards,
The Silhouette...

p.s.- why that p.s. of yours?? if anyone feels sad or depressed, be happy. it just means that you touched their heart with your lines...no need to apologize...

 

I guess someone does not deserve this wonderful person pouring his/her heart out...His/Her loss.

 

Of love and longing..of hurt and regret. Time is the best healer.

 

Deep stuff. :) All the Best!!! :)

Here's my story:
http://fu-ck-lo-ve.blogspot.com/2011/02/fire-freeze-moment-of-my-life.html#comments

 

Not depressing, these are/were innocent wishes, and pure love. I liked it! And yes, you have a vote too now :)

 

It reminds me of something I read somewhere...

Had I said that, had I done this,
So might I gain, so might I miss.
Might she have loved me? just as well
She might have hated, who can tell!


Nice one Deepika. And it wasn't depressing at all, save the last line.

Cheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete

 

Ur poetry depicts longing and desires..it wasn't actually depressing..the poet has started getting up and time will surely make things move on.
a wonderful and beautiful work of urs though, maybe when the heart aches..v become more profound. good luck for d contest :)

sarah

 

wow.. this really touched me, so much i even cried... and i do not shed tears easily. maybe its because i am feeling the exact emotion this conveys right now, from my own life circumstances, turmoil, love and lust...
great job. a truly great job.
here's my piece if you want to read it:
http://belladonna23.wordpress.com/2011/01/28/sonnet-vii/

 

It touched me.
I love emotional once.
Hope you win the contest.

 

This is wonderful writing.I truly appreciate your talents.

keep up..

 

Loved the style of writing. Simple and yet bold. And this is my favorite genre.
1st time me checking it, and I love ur blog!

 

Deepika these words cringe and pierce inside.... badly..
"Now a void has replaced
The innocence you stole
"

And yes now you let it go... :) :)

Cheers,

 

very emotional poem you have written bt with depth of life. Sorry i have been really busy lately and couldnt come to visit you!

Love
Sabi Sunshine

 

very well penned thoughts with nice flow.....

Best wishes for the Contest....
irfan

 

Your poem was not depressing rather one filled with longing !

Nice one!

Take Care,
Fatima

 

Heartfelt. True to the core.
Last verse, the void kills, no? I can relate to it so well.

 

Truly sensuous. It coincides a lot.

Dropped in here through Raji.. Nice blog.

 

Now a void has replaced
The innocence you stole

these lines say it all!...truly heartfelt!

 

Hey Hey!!

Lovely....Lovely

But a promise to never let go
A will to stay evermore
A command to be yours forever
A silent commitment to not give up too soon

I really loved these lines...:]

 

awesome.....!!!! I was just left speechless after reading..!! :)
carry on..!!

 

Very nice. I thought I read it before too. But once again

 

I loved the title, that no man's land between two sides. Beautifully setting a scene, attuning our lighting so that although we look in the correct direction we are unsure where to focus our attention upon and in this way we can not make a pre emptive strike against you, as is most common with readers. Cleverly done.

I loved, JUST LOVED, how you use our sees, those windows to our souls as a time machine to the past, of those future hopes that once resided there. Just exceptional! In this way you remind us that just like trees, we carry those rings of of life, those circles of our intent, always even if they never make it to the outside, as bark, to protect us from the harshness of the world.

I loved the haunting quality of “I am there” stayed awaited forever Beautifully penned.

You misunderstood my wishes I loved this line. The manner he should have known her unseen, for when we love a person, we begin to understand them, and there is nothing more lonely than being misunderstood by a beloved, for it sends us back to singledom.

You backed away when I was down
Yet I feel it was me I loved the vulnerability of in this line, woven excellently by you. Though if in a fight, another backs away once their opponent is down, here is seems almost cruel, that he should either put her out of her misery if not console her. Wonderfully done.

I love how you in the second part of the poem, the protagonist tries to fill her thoughts of those things she had wished he had seen in her eyes, trying to give them life, one way or another BUT is reminded that as you say, Now a void has replaced
The innocence you stole

She is left with nothingness, that no man's land. Waiting between forever and never!

Beautifully penned and a delight to read. Thanks for sharing.

 

Wow! So beautiful!
I liked words playing with consistency with love and emotions!

Lovely!
Keep Expressing and sharing

 

I still don't get it. Why don't people move on. Why they have to cling on the very person who droped hin/her for his/her life.

 

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